the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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