I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
