this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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