I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I want a musical about memes.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
