hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just want nice things and good sex
Randomize
