They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
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How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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