My friends, they love my intelligence
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
