Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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