Cold hands, warm shart.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
