Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sobbing to NWA
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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