Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just tell him i said nine months
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
