She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the raccoons are back...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
