She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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