I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
