Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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