How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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