I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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