you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
