like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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