The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
