Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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