Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
