good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
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I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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