ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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