I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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