My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
