Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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