That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
