I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
