Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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