I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
