Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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