On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't deserve a penis
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
