you guys were way drunker than both of me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
