grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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