Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize