I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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