What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
