If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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