Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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