just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize