Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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