Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
