I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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