i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
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All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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