Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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