I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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