gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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