Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she smelled like a LAN party
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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