So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
