I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize