i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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