everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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