The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
