It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
