I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
