Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
