i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize