his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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