no, he came in my armpit
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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